Today I was talking to some friends about a few funny quotes I remember. There are many that crack me up. However, only a few manage to remain in memory.
There was this basketball player at NC State named Charles Shackleford. In a local TV interview, he bragged about himself, "I can dribble with my right hand and I can dribble with my left hand. I'm amphibious." Sometimes I forget that not everyone I talk to knows about this. Therefore, sometimes I am the one who looks like Charles Shackleford, except I cannot play basketball well. If you talk to me enough, you may catch me mentioning a phrase like:
"We hope our youngest son is amphibious."
"I'm amphibious that way."
"All mice are amphibious, you just need to alter their configuration accordingly."
Do not think too hard about it. Enjoy the moment of disorientation and move to the next part of the conversation. The funny thing is, most people do not even notice the substitution of the word amphibious for ambidextrious.
Another funny quote that makes my side hurt is one that the great Shaquille O'Neal once said when he was a member of the Los Angeles Lakers. "My game is like the Pythagorean theorem, no one has an answer." Uhhh....isn't the answer c squared? Never mind. Most people do not even laugh at that one. I earned my best grades in math classes, so this holds a special place in my humor.
Another one of my personal favorites is one that hits "home":
1992 - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
That's all for now. Right now I am at work loading 3 versions of Visual Studio (and their libraries) onto a PC and it seems to be taking forever. I'd love to go home but I have to complete this tonight.
"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."
2 weeks ago